If you’re a regular reader of Mrs J’s ramblings you’ve probably figured out by now that she’s a sports fan. Some of the time she’s the one doing the sweating. But most of the time she’s just one of millions screaming in front of the TV.

In Europe we’ve just finished the Roland-Garros tennis season and now the Euro championships for football (soccer) is on. Football isn’t Mrs J’s favorite sport but she’ll watch and scream anyway, just ’cause it’s the Euro Champs. Also, quite a few of her friends watch it. And that group of people happens to cover a wide range of European nationalities. So it’s just too much fun to pass up the opportunity for some friendly inter-European bashing.

In that spirit, here are Mrs J’s top 5 pathetic excuses why your team didn’t win. Don’t worry if you don’t like football, most of them apply to any sport!

1. The referee lost his contacts on his way to the game. Clearly.
2. We got confused because the match suits all looked the same. Who designed those suits anyway?!
3. It was too hot….wait, too cold. The pitch was too dusty. And then it rained (snowed, didn’t snow, hailed, gusted). Plus the ball (racket, club, stone, dart, rifle) was crappy. Broken, too. Probably.
4. They just played all defense. We have a more exiting style of play. And we’re better looking, too.
5. The other guy(s) got lucky. Bet they couldn’t do it again!

When the Euros are over, we’ll have the Tour de France. Wimbledon. And then the London Olympics.

Mr J isn’t into sports. Can you hear him sighing from where you are?