These days it’s not that common for Mrs J to watch random TV. She gets her share of TV, it’s just that she records or downloads the stuff she wants to see and watches it when she feels like a TV fix is due. No more daytime crap. Let’s hear it for the inventor of the PVR, whoever he or she is!

But once in a while she still allows herself a little zapping. Cooking shows, in particular, are good zapping material for Mrs J. And that’s how she came up with the idea to bake bread on the floor.

What does it mean – “on the floor” – you ask? Throwing flour all over the kitchen? Kneading with your toes?

Mrs J did throw a lot of flour around. That’s just the kind of kitchen she runs. The epic mess kind. And some dough did get stuck on her feet, though you’ll be relieved to know it wasn’t due to any attempts at toe-kneading.

This is all actually about stone baking.

You can of course buy a flat stone for your oven but Mrs J hasn’t really been doing that much bread baking so she never got one. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she attempted to bake bread, other than the yearly Lussebulle-bake. And those aren’t breads, really. But then she saw some guys on TV using a tile in the oven. A regular floor tile! Exactly like the spare tiles in her house!

The temptation to try it was just too much.

Here’s what she did.

Combine 420g of white flour with 55g of whole wheat flour and 1 and a half tsp of salt in a big bowl.

Heat 3 dl of water until it’s 37°C. The baker expression is “finger warm”. Really, bakers.

Add 2 tbsp of olive oil and 25g of live yeast. Mix until the yeast is dissolved.

Pour your liquid over the flour mix and combine carefully to a dough. Take the dough out of the bowl and knead it by stretching it out and rolling it up 5 or six times. Then form it into a ball and put back in the bowl. Cover with a cloth or another bowl and let it rise for 20 min in a warm place.

In between, prepare your oven by inserting a baking tray at the very bottom. Then add another baking tray or grid. Place your floor tile on top (it should be in the lower middle of the oven). Then set your oven to 250°C.

After the first 20 min of rising press the dough down. Re-cover and leave to rise for another 20 min. Then press it down again and form it into a loaf shape. Put the loaf on some oven proof paper and cover. Leave it to rise for another 20 min.

Score the loaf a few times at the top and send it into the oven by sliding the paper directly onto the tile. Quickly throw 5-8 ice cubes on the lower baking tray and let the bread bake for 10 min at 250°C. Throw in another couple of ice cubes and lower the temperature to 200°. Keep baking for another 18-20 min. For the last 5 min, use a wooden spoon to keep the oven hatch slightly open (allowing any remaining steam to escape).

Take the bread out and leave it on a grid for a while. Try to restrain yourself for a few minutes, at least. Then cut yourself a slice and enjoy your home made crunchy-crust, soft, delightful bread. You are now a bona-fide floor-baked bread baker!